During my chemotherapy, the book Between Two Kingdoms written by Suleika Jaoud was recommended to me (by Lisa Patterson during one of her healing yoga classes). This was the first time I truly felt like someone understood. Reading her words was like reading my own thoughts in a way I couldn’t articulate. I find myself now living between two kingdoms, inhabiting my body and the space I exist in the world in a very different way. Through this process I was introduced to the 100 day project, a creative dive for 100 days, which has been and continues to be, paramount in my healing and my daily life.
The ways we care for ourselves matter immensely, starting with the small things; offering ourselves rest when we’re tired, hydrating our bodies, eating nourishing foods, being gentle with the messages we send ourselves.
I realize for so much of my career as a massage therapist and yoga teacher, I have focused on how I can best care for others. Over the past few years I have grown into a more truthful realization of what that actually means. The answer is found in how I care for myself, in the small simple ways of ensuring I’m okay first, only then can I start to look outside of myself.
Last week I was privileged to sit in circle with a group of incredible women, it was my first in person Tending Your Inner Garden session. 9 of us gathered to hold space for eachother exploring what the act of tending to ourselves feels like, being held quietly in community as we moved through gentle practices.
In my own personal tending, I started painting bees and flowers to tap into that well of energy and joy that lives inside of me, with the intention to support my healing. Through this process I have become connected with all the parts of me, parts of me that I didn’t even realize I contained, parts of me that have been numb for most of my life – or that I kept very small out of fear of judgement.
These are created from my heart, for my heart.
I had never painted before and now it’s a non-negotiable part of my life. Many things have become non-negotiable for me; unrolling my mat for my body and my spirit, picking up a paintbrush with no expectations or judgement of what comes through on the canvas, dancing and singing, picking up my guitar or playing my drum as my boys play piano and their guitars. This is therapy for me, part of the tapestry of my wholeness.
I wonder what’s one small thing you can do today to offer yourself gentle care, tending to your own inner garden?
I offer you this with deep respect and gratitude.
Love, Amber
If you’d like to practice yoga and movement classes with me I teach weekly online zoom classes Thursday mornings from 11:00 – 12:00 am EST, you can join from anywhere (live or with the recording).
Once a month I also hold yoga and sound therapy at the Cedar Hill School House, Pakenham. These classes will run through to October.
If you’d like extra support you can find different video membership options , created with the intention to help you whenever you need a little extra guided support through a diverse collection of offerings ranging from 5 minute wellness capsule, mindful minutes practices, to 60 minute yoga and movement practices. Memberships range from $6 to $38.
Let me know if you’d like more information amber@suryadaya.ca
I’m dreaming about our next Tending Your Inner Garden offering, starting in the fall of 2024, stay tuned for dates and more information.
